To Jim on his 16th Birthday

Jim,

One day last week, I picked you up from school after took one of your AP exams and then I moved over to the passenger seat so you could practice driving. In the midst of being hyper vigilant about your speed, how quickly you stopped, how close you were to the side of the road, and what every single other car on the road was doing, I had a distinct moment of looking over at you and realizing that so much is changing. And we’re only at the start.

Today you turn 16. You are about to wrap up your sophomore year of high school. You’ll take a driver’s license test in just a few weeks. We have three more summers before you go off to college. There are times it seems like yesterday when you were sitting in the living room watching cartoons with a couple of dozen superhero toys. There are times it seems like last week when you were a newborn sleeping in my arms.

The feeling of you being 16 is kind of like being the passenger in the car while you are driving. I have a ton of confidence in you and trust you. And I worry about your lack of experience in a big, sometimes frightening world and whether I have taught you well enough. I am wary of everyone else on the road. I wonder if you are going too fast even though you are going an appropriate speed and I am the one who encouraged you not to go as slow in the first place. It is all very exciting, humbling, frightening, and new.

And to reiterate, I trust you. It’s not that hard. You have a strong sense of right and wrong. You are incredibly intelligent and you know it. Sometimes I wish that you were maybe a little more humble about your smarts, but, hey, one of my Achilles’ heels is downplaying my own abilities so maybe you’re on to something that will serve you well. You are prolifically creative. I am in awe of how many evenings you will go up into your room and write. I am honored that in this past year I got to be the first editor of one of your novels.

In the past year, your mom and I have watched you stretch yourself and try new things. It was fun to see you dive into the tech side of theater at school. The ways in which you took to it, quickly became a dependable member of the crew, and found a community that values and appreciates you. I hope that you will keep stretching yourself and not be afraid if you stumble and fall at times. That is, after all, part of how we learn.

I hope you know how much your mom and I love you. I’m grateful that you still tell us that (even though it is sometimes begrudgingly when you are being especially teenager-ish). It is always a highlight when you come down to our room, sit on our bed, and talk with us about your day or the latest bit of comic book news that you’ve just learned (I am grateful that I have a son that will geek out with me about this stuff). As you grow older, time with you is precious. That is another reason why I have been thankful that the task of teaching you to drive fell to me.

Jim, my prayer for you is that you continue to grow into the fullness of who you are. I pray that you know how deeply you are loved by God, your mom, me, your brother, family, and so many others. The world is a much better place with you in it. May you continue to discover your gifts, your voice, and may those things and your presence bring joy to the people around you. Never forget that we love you more than you will ever know. I am so lucky to be your dad. Happy 16th Birthday!

Love,
Dad