Listen to your body.
That’s a fairly new phrase in my life. It popped up as something that we would remind our children when they were feeling disregulated. It is an invitation to try to stop and sense what is going on within yourself. There actually would have been a time when I would have firmly opposed such a phrase. In some very reductive Christian teachings, the body is depicted as weak and even deceptive. Why would you listen to it?
Yet there is no compartmentalizing our body, mind, heart, and soul. They are intertwined. They work in tandem to help a person live and experience the world. The body tells us when we are tired and when we are hungry. It tells us when we need affection. It, rather annoyingly, remembers the trauma that weighs down our souls.
Our bodies often remind us that we need to move. Running has been an important physical, mental, and spiritual aspect of my life (again, they are all intertwined) since I was in middle school. This past year has been the least I have run since I was thirteen. New job, parenting, depression, gaining weight, and other factors kept me out of my running shoes. Then whenever I tried to get back on the horse, running was so much more difficult than it had been for years which only made me more despondent. I once made the arrogant college-aged comment to someone that they should shoot me if I couldn’t run a 5K without stopping. I would like that person, whoever they are, to refrain from honoring that request.
I have a new office in our home and one of the things I am enjoying is decorating the space. I have placed books, Lego sets, and Funko Pops on the shelves. My wall has photos of family, places that I have traveled, artwork my siblings have given me, diplomas, etc. Across from my desk on the wall, hangs a cross that we got from a church in Reykjavik and a small colorfully-painted tile depicting Assisi. On the floor beneath them is the one item in here that I haven’t yet put up: my certificate of ordination.
I was ordained as a minister ten years ago today. It was a step with which I struggled for awhile. My Baptist roots fostered in me a firm belief in the priesthood of all believers. If you say that you are a follower of Jesus, then you are a minister. So the hierarchy implied by being called “Reverend” made me feel a little uncomfortable. I did not use the title for myself often unless I was writing my Congressperson. Despite these qualms, I did ultimately pursue ordination. I am glad that I did. I am just not totally sure what to make of it now.
I don’t serve as a vocational minister anymore; not in a church, not as a chaplain, not in some sort of parachurch organization. I am an Administrative Assistant in a hospital Spiritual Care department. In fact, I haven’t even attended a church service in maybe a year and a half save an Ash Wednesday service that I snuck off to at the beginning of Lent. I did officiate a wedding in a church over the summer; an experience that I loved and was very meaningful for me. But I don’t really know what to do about that ordination certificate. Or church.