Mar 30

Mar 30 Ultimate Mascot Madness First Round

For an introduction and recap of the play-in rounds click here.

South Region

#37 Mississippi Valley State Delta Devils over #1 Virginia Cavaliers - Traditionally, Mascot Madness has not had much respect for Cavaliers. Is it the flimsy sword? Maybe. Is it the feather in a jaunty hat? Probably.
#16 George Mason Patriots over #17 Tulane Green Wave - Come on, it’s a green wave.
#9 Miami Hurricanes over #24 Louisiana-Lafayette Ragin’ Cajuns - Another theme that has held over the years is mascots that are massive natural disasters are almost impossible to defeat.
#25 Stetson Hatters over #8 Alabama Crimson Tide - What is a Hatter? What is a Crimson Tide? The Hatter is the mascot of Stetson, because, yes, they have a connection to the Stetson hats. So it’s a person who makes hats? A person who wears hats? Either way, it’s a person and they can withstand a tide.
#4 Arkansas Razorbacks over #29 Louisiana-Monroe Warhawks - Admittedly, this one is a toss-up but I’ll give tusked feral hog the advantage. Especially since some people think you need an assault weapon to withstand 30-50 of these guys coming into a yard.
#20 Vanderbilt Commodores over #13 Austin Peay Governors - Possibly the lamest human vs. human showdown imaginable. We’ll give the Commodore the advantage cause he has a sword. By the way, did you know Austin Peay signed the Butler Act which made it illegal to teach evolution in Tennessee public schools and paved the way for the Scopes Monkey Trial?
#12 North Florida Ospreys over #21 Gardner-Webb Runnin’ Bulldogs - Ospreys are also known as sea hawks or river hawks and I just feel like their power of flight plus those talons gives them an advantage of a bulldog. My apologies to my seminary alma mater.
#5 Furman Paladins over #28 Campbell Fighting Camels - Long have I waited to include my beloved Paladins in a Mascot Madness bracket. What is a paladin? It is a knight on a horse. So you’ve got all of the armor and weaponry of a knight plus the power of the horse. Paladins are a tough draw. I must confess thought that it brings me no joy to strike down the Fighting Camels of Campbell because I have great respect for any school that decides to have their mascot not just be a Camel but a Fighting Camel.

Mar 30

Mar 30 Ultimate Mascot Madness Intro & Play-In Rounds

Chris Cox

Ultimate Mascot Madness

Every year, I fill out the NCAA Division I Men’s Basketball Tournament bracket using one simple criterion: Which mascot would win in a fight? When March Madness was cancelled this year, I had resigned myself to not exploring these critical questions. But as I have read stories of perseverance in the face of the Covid-19 pandemic, I decided that I too should not let circumstances get in the way of this of this treasured tradition. In fact, it is time to take it to the next level. So I decided to look at all of Division I and determine which mascot would be the ultimate champion.

Below are the ground rules for how I set up the bracket:

I compiled a list of the 142 unique Division I mascots. Sorry, Bulldogs, Eagles, and Tigers. You need to find more original nicknames. This list does not include mascots based on Native American imagery nor does it include the Sam Houston State Bearkats. Yeah, you’re the only Bearkats, but taking the common mascot Bearcats and misspelling it with a “k” does not get you into this prestigious tournament.
I approximately divided those 142 schools into four geographic regions: South, East, Midwest, and West.
I used the final posted RPI rankings to seed those teams within their respective regions. The Oregon Ducks have the highest RPI ranking in the West Region and thus are the #1 seed for that group.
Because you have to do some finagling to make a 142-team bracket work, each Region has a play-in tournament consisting of the remaining teams that were seeded #32 or lower in each geographic region. To make the tournaments as even as possible, the teams do not adhere to any geographic boundaries. That’s why Cornell is in the West Play-in. Sorry, Andy Bernard, your team should have played better basketball this season.
Again, the simple question is which mascot would win in a fight. This is considered a one-on-one fight unless plurality is implied by something other than slapping the letter “s” on the end. Thus the Marshall Thundering Herd get to bring more than one buffalo to the fight.
“Extensive” internet research is used to determine the intended nature of each mascot and their prowess in battle.

Mar 28

Mar 28 Death in Reverse

Chris Cox

Weekly Lectionary

“Death itself would start working backwards.”

From the moment when I read that line in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, it has taken root in my imagination. There comes this point when you realize that a great deal of this world is in the throes of entropy. Everything that lives on this planet dies. Relationships drift and then fall apart. As a sensitive child, all fo this decay frightened me. I wanted something to help us escape all this gravity. And so C.S. Lewis’ regal God-lion reminded me of a concept that is essential to all of scripture: resurrection.

What fascinates me is not so much the idea of the resurrection of the dead. I believe that is part of this grand narrative; at least I do on most days. That is the concept to which a lot of the Christian faith pays attention. Rather it is the idea that God is in the art of taking the things that are falling apart, broken, dying, and decaying and throwing it into reverse. Death does not have the final word. There is always the chance for life.

That is the image that we see in Ezekiel. It starts with a valley full of bones and God asks the prophets whether they live can live again. Ezekiel wisely answers that only God knows whether resurrection is possible. Thus God orders Ezekiel to prophesy over the bones. To go out where there is seeming hopelessness and dead ends and to preach the word of the Lord. And what is that word?

Mar 21

Mar 21 One Thing I Know

Chris Cox

Weekly Lectionary

When your job revolves around questions of God, faith, and the mysteries of the universe, you need to become comfortable with an important three word phrase: I don’t know. That is not to say that there are some things that you do not know or at least about which you have an informed, educated opinion. Every person of faith should spend their lifetimes learning and seeking to know all they can about God.

There are simply times that our finitude crashes into the infinity and you realize that you don’t know that much. Like I do not know why God allows bad things to happen. I don’t believe God causes things like the Covid-19 virus or tornadoes or starving children. But I don’t know why God allows it. I hope that there is a good reason behind it. But I don’t know. When you get right down to it, there is much both good and bad about which we just don’t know.

All of which sets up what I love about this passage in John. Jesus heals a man born blind and the story veers into an episode of Law & Order: Strict Pharisee Unit. The healed man and his parents are interrogated about what happened. The second time this particular group of Pharisees are talking to the formerly blind man—who has to be confused as to why people are so upset that he has been miraculously healed—they demand that he give glory to God because Jesus has to be a sinner. You can almost hear the one playing bad cop slamming on the interrogation room table as he yells it.

Mar 19

Mar 19 To Liam on His 7th Birthday

Chris Cox

Liam,

I cannot believe that you are seven years old. I’ve been there the entire time so it makes sense, but it feels like it is going by ridiculously fast. In a couple of months, you will be finished with 1st grade and deeply ensconced in elementary school. I can still remember meeting you in that operating room. Your eyes would barely open under the bright lights.

There is something in those first moments that is difficult to describe. You meet a lot of people in your life. We all have stories—some good and some not so good—that we carry around. You hear the stories in their voices, see it in their face, and the way that they hold their body. But in those first moments with you, you were nothing but possibility; limitless potential energy. When I encountered that with you and your brother, it felt a little like I was being born also.

That potential energy has transformed into a kiloton of kinetic energy. You crackle with it. You run and hop and skip from place to place. You love to go and explore the outside world even if it is just a walk to our mailbox. You are always moving ahead of your mom and I. Your mind moves at the same rapid pace. I love to listen to you talk when you get on a roll. You tell stories like a bouncing ball bounding down a steep staircase. Your voice swings and sways in a singsong like way.

Mar 16

Mar 16 The Epidemiology of Grace

Chris Cox

It’s a weird time. We all know that, but I think it’s important to periodically name that reality. Schools have closed down for weeks on end. Theaters are closing. Restaurants are only allowing to-go orders. Every sports league has blown the whistle on their respective seasons. It is a March with a madness unlike any that we have ever experienced.

That is an important thing for us to remember: None of us have ever experienced anything like this. We are all in unchartered territory. None of us know what the next few weeks or months is going to hold. We could start seeing daylight in April or this could be a long haul. It is a strange, limbo-like state to be in.

Which is exactly why we need to extend grace to each other. Be kind. Nobody knew the term “social distancing” two weeks ago. Now it is our banner and creed. And, listen, we do need to do everything we can flatten the curve. We need to listen to our medical experts so that we do not let this thing spread and endanger our most vulnerable brothers and sisters. But we can encourage others to do that without shaming, guilting, or snarking other people.

Mar 14

Mar 14 The Geography of Grace

Chris Cox

Weekly Lectionary

What if we named places the same way that they did during biblical times? Moses named a location in this week’s passage Massah and Meribah—which respectively mean “test” and “quarrel”—because that is exactly what his people were doing in that place. They threw verbal hands and they tested God.

So what if we did that? Like if Moses ventured out to Chicago’s Navy Pier with our family this morning and saw St. Patrick’s Day revelers stumbling out to various booze cruises, might he have dubbed that place Poor Drunken Decisions? Granted, he might have looked at our family exploring pandemic-era Windy City and dubbed wherever we went Poor Sober Decisions by our actions (we changed flights last night to head home tomorrow rather than several days later as originally planned).

But it seems incredibly harsh to name a place by the terrible thing that happened there. It is true that sometimes the place was named for something wonderful that happened. Jacob gave the name Bethel or “House of God” to a place in which he had an incredible encounter with the Divine. Yet I am stuck thinking about Moses making some future Geography Bee contestant answer “Test and Quarrel.” It forces me to ponder on the places in my life that might have been dubbed Apathy or Cowardice. I don’t like to dwell in those cities, but I do need to remember that they could exist. Moses heavy-handed naming was meant to be a reminder. We need to remember that we’re fallible.

Mar 10

Mar 10 Taking the Long Way

Chris Cox

It was not a great day. It wasn’t “The worst day of my life” as one child oh so dramatically put it from his personal perspective. But it sure wasn’t the day that I would have planned. Between the car dying and publicly parenting two distraught children who thought that we would be trapped at a CFA drive-thru forever and the 3-4 hour wait for a tow, it was not a great day. And I could feel my attitude beginning to curdle; especially after EA rescued the boys and I was no longer in charge of anyone’s morale but my own.

Instead of waiting in the car I walked a few blocks to a coffeeshop, found it closed, and grumbled as I backtracked then walked a few more blocks to another one. I tried to reframe things. It was not a great day, but we were okay. To be sure, a day after tornadoes had devastated Nashville and middle Tennessee, I was pretty darn fortunate. I had my health, my home, and the people I loved were fine. Many people were not. It dawned on me that dichotomy was true everyday and not just when the disaster touched down and hit close to home. Local devastation or not, I did not have any license to be ungrateful, to grouse, and let the dark nip at my mood.

I sat on that porch of the coffeeshop with my bottle of water because I don't drink coffee. I pulled out my computer and tried to push out the frustration with work. And when I found that the grumbling was still getting through, I made an effort to hone in on what was good about that day.

Mar 2

Mar 2 More Than You Could Ever Imagine (John 10:1-18)

Chris Cox

Sermon Manuscript

We are going to start off in a remarkably nerdy place, but I promise that this is going somewhere. This past fall, an unprepared world was introduced to Baby Yoda. In the first episode of the new Star Wars TV show called The Mandalorian, the title character—a bounty hunter—is hired to go to some alien world and capture a 50 year old creature to bring back to some pretty shady individuals. After some classic Star Wars derring-do, we discover that the bounty is this impossibly adorable little guy.

No one saw this coming. Disney somehow kept Baby Yoda’s existence under wraps. They would also like to remind everyone that his name is not Baby Yoda because he is not Yoda as an infant and he is officially referred to as The Child. So whereas everyone thought The Mandalorian was going to be a show about a bounty hunter doing some bounty hunting, it turned out to be a show in which this lone wolf type of individual suddenly has to care for and protect this precious child from those who seek to do it harm.

As the video we just showed indicates, the internet has gone absolutely insane for Baby Yoda. Bootleg Baby Yoda merchandise began popping up everywhere. With each episode of The Mandalorian there was a slew of new adorable images of Baby Yoda that were instantly turned into memes or tweeted out a thousand times. My children will periodically ask to see a picture of Baby Yoda just so they can go “Awwwwwww…” He is an absolute marvel of storytelling and creature design. We all know that he is literally a puppet, but we are super invested in his wellbeing.

Because everything on the internet turns into a competition, someone asked who was cuter: Baby Yoda or a tree-like character that captured the internet’s heart a few years ago named Baby Groot. One person replied: “I would use Baby Groot as firewood to keep Baby Yoda warm.” And 362,000 people liked it. Everyone was like, “Yeah, I’d probably do that too.” There is a massive collective instinct of “We must protect Baby Yoda at all costs.” All of which works perfectly for the show because the premise of The Mandalorian is about this individual who discovers this child and turns his own life upside down to protect this precious little creature.

Feb 17

Feb 17 Presidents Day Pseudo Facts Greatest Hits

Chris Cox

I cannot tell a lie, I do not have any new Presidents Day Pseudo Facts for the year (work and being a parent will do that). However, let me offer up the Greatest Hits of over half a decade of nuggets about our presidents that could maybe, kind of, possibly, sort of be true.

October 30, 2026

What's My Name? What's My Station?

I have a new office in our home and one of the things I am enjoying is decorating the space. I have placed books, Lego sets, and Funko Pops on the shelves. My wall has photos of family, places that I have traveled, artwork my siblings have given me, diplomas, etc. Across from my desk on the wall, hangs a cross that we got from a church in Reykjavik and a small colorfully-painted tile depicting Assisi. On the floor beneath them is the one item in here that I haven’t yet put up: my certificate of ordination.

I was ordained as a minister ten years ago today. It was a step with which I struggled for awhile. My Baptist roots fostered in me a firm belief in the priesthood of all believers. If you say that you are a follower of Jesus, then you are a minister. So the hierarchy implied by being called “Reverend” made me feel a little uncomfortable. I did not use the title for myself often unless I was writing my Congressperson. Despite these qualms, I did ultimately pursue ordination. I am glad that I did. I am just not totally sure what to make of it now.

I don’t serve as a vocational minister anymore; not in a church, not as a chaplain, not in some sort of parachurch organization. I am an Administrative Assistant in a hospital Spiritual Care department. In fact, I haven’t even attended a church service in maybe a year and a half save an Ash Wednesday service that I snuck off to at the beginning of Lent. I did officiate a wedding in a church over the summer; an experience that I loved and was very meaningful for me. But I don’t really know what to do about that ordination certificate. Or church.

June 15, 2026

Dangerous Memories and Unfinished Futures

“’Do this in remembrance of me.’ Jesus invites you to commemorate his betrayal, death, and resurrection. His invitation makes space for ‘dangerous memory,’ a memory that, as post-Holocaust Catholic theologian Johann Baptist Metz tells us, ‘puts pressure on and questions our present because in it we remember an unfinished future.’ Memory can unsettle the unreconciled present and open up a future for the hopeless and the forgotten, the failed and the oppressed….Remembering keeps the ghosts alive so that they may warn and comfort, haunt and inspire the living: dangerous memories that rush toward an unfinished future. Making the absent present allows for processing grief, strengthening commitments, and opening up vision. Such remembrance commits you to work for a future for those who have been forgotten, erased, and left behind.”
-Hanna Reichel, For Such a Time as This, 88, 89

I believe that most of us experience an internal tug-of-war between the past and the future. In The Screwtape Letters, C.S. Lewis’ titular demon supervisor advises his underling Wormwood that one of best ways to keep a human from doing good is to keep them ping-ponging between those two times that are not the present. One keeps trying to recapture or reach towards moments that are mist. It can keep a person from doing something.

The quote above resonates with me because it harnesses the past and unfinished future into a catalyst that animates our present. We remember the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus because it means something today and compels us to presently work for the Good that is already here, but also not yet. We remember the hope and pain of the past to do something that help us take some sort of step each and every day. We realize that the hope which exists within the gospel story is not yet fully realized. Many people are still being left behind and forgotten. The realization, as the theologian Metz states, puts pressure and questions on the present.

June 1, 2026

First Day of Pride

Being a parent forces you to take a close look at yourself. Of course, you don’t have to be a parent to self-examine, but there is something about the reality that another living human is under your care and protection for the foreseeable future that makes you take stock of your strengths, weaknesses, and beliefs. For example, I used to think I was a far more patient person before I had kids; like superhumanly patient. And then a crying toddler shows you the folly of that belief. On the flip side, time has moved on and having two teenagers affirms that, yes, I am ridiculously patient and that has been a strength as a parent.

Among many other reorienting moments that came with parenthood was full acceptance of our LGBTQ+ siblings. That process began many years earlier. As someone who studied religion, I knew that the biblical case against these individuals was not nearly as airtight as I was previously led to believe. Science and stories from people gave strong indication that this life was not a choice. And I had met gay and lesbian folks who were good people. The old axiom that you will know a tree by its fruit applies here.

But the tipping point was holding a tiny infant who I loved more than I thought possible and knowing that I never wanted him to be ashamed of who he is. I did not want a potential future in which one of my children came out as something other than heterosexual with the fear that we would not love them. Not accepting my child was not even conceivably on the table. So we raised our kids to know that LGBTQ+ were beloved members of God’s creation.

May 24, 2026

Not a Defeat If You Can Find a Way to Laugh About It

There is this typical ice breaker question that is some variation of “If you could have dinner with anyone famous living or dead, who would it be?” And one of my steadfast answers for almost twenty years has been Stephen Colbert. Through both The Colbert Report and The Late Show, he has given hours upon hours of laughter and more than enough on which to ponder. I feel like we’d have a lot to talk about since we are both unabashed nerds, products of the Palmetto State, and he just seems like a good hang.

Beyond all of that, I appreciate how honestly and humbly Colbert approaches his faith. There have been numerous times over the years when his comedy and conversations take a turn into the spiritual that is challenging and convicting. I remember an episode of The Colbert Report where one minute he was making a joke about Ben Franklin’s predilection for French prostitutes and then organically made his way to the following quote:

If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we've got to acknowledge that He commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition and then admit that we just don't want to do it.

Then there are the interviews that he has conducted on The Late Show. Colbert has said that he sort of found the heart of his show when he had a conversation with then-Vice President Biden about grief. Indeed the loss of his father and brothers at a young age has led him to create an empathetic space to explore loss in the midst of celebrities promoting their most recent projects (my mind immediately comes to a conversation that he had with Andrew Garfield about the loss of the actor’s mother).

May 21, 2026

While I Breathe, I Hope

On the way to school, the youngest burrowed his head into my arm. “I don’t like that you’re getting older.”

“Why is that?”

“Because you’re one year closer to death.”

“There it is.” That’s my kid. Very sweet. Very sensitive. Brutally, bordering on inappropriately blunt. “Well, it’s better than the alternative.”

“Getting younger?” He thinks for a second. “Oh…dying.”

“Yeah, you can’t get younger.” I scratch him on the head. “And hopefully I have a ways to go. Ideally, I’ll still be kicking around when you turn 43.”

“You’ll be 73. So that’s reasonable”

“Yeah.”

“Granddad will be 103.”

“Less likely. But maybe. I hope he is as long as he’s happy.”

“And healthy. Happy, healthy, and alive.” Then he goes into a bit from an episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine which makes me laugh.

Birthdays, as my oldest posited this morning, are kind of weird when you get older. Or at least they morph into something different from the second Christmas-esque excitement when you’re a kid. Because there does get to be that point where it creeps into your mind that you are a year closer to death. And that forces you take stock of your life which is a hit-or-miss affair due to being human’s volatility.

May 18, 2026

To Jim on his 16th Birthday

One day last week, I picked you up from school after took one of your AP exams and then I moved over to the passenger seat so you could practice driving. In the midst of being hyper vigilant about your speed, how quickly you stopped, how close you were to the side of the road, and what every single other car on the road was doing, I had a distinct moment of looking over at you and realizing that so much is changing. And we’re only at the start.

Today you turn 16. You are about to wrap up your sophomore year of high school. You’ll take a driver’s license test in just a few weeks. We have three more summers before you go off to college. There are times it seems like yesterday when you were sitting in the living room watching cartoons with a couple of dozen superhero toys. There are times it seems like last week when you were a newborn sleeping in my arms.

The feeling of you being 16 is kind of like being the passenger in the car while you are driving. I have a ton of confidence in you and trust you. And I worry about your lack of experience in a big, sometimes frightening world and whether I have taught you well enough. I am wary of everyone else on the road. I wonder if you are going too fast even though you are going an appropriate speed and I am the one who encouraged you not to go as slow in the first place. It is all very exciting, humbling, frightening, and new.

April 21, 2026

What Nintendo Can Teach the Church

Christmas 1988. My brother Taylor and I receive the Nintendo Entertainment System packaged with Super Mario Bros. and Duck Hunt and we have been fans ever since. We have grown up with the Japanese company’s gaming systems; the adventures of Mario, Luigi, Yoshi, Link, Zelda, Donkey and Diddy Kong, and more have been a consistent presence in our lives. Even though we are in three different states now as adults, Taylor, my sister Shari, myself, and our kids will get together every so often and play Mario Kart online. We love Nintendo, which is a weird thing to say about a corporation that makes a billion dollars but it is what it is.

With all that said, I loved the Keza MacDonald’s book Super Nintendo: The Game-Changing Company That Unlocked the Power of Play. Not only is it an engaging journey through video game history through the lens of Nintendo’s iconic (and less iconic) franchises, but the book also has a great deal to say about creativity, community, and culture. In fact, it is that last idea that got me thinking about how this video game company can teach the church (or any other organization) even as I am a bit of an outsider to that world presently.

Here is one of two quotes that jumped out at me from the chapter “Splatoon” which looks at how Nintendo continues innovate and create over 40 years into its video game endeavors:

April 12, 2026

Easter Orphans, A Lost Cat, and A Tightrope Called Hope

“Happy Easter?”

That is the first thing EA said to me as I woke up on Easter morning. I stretched and rubbed my eyes.

“I still believe in Jesus. It’s just the church that I’m not sure about.”

Some context: This was the first Easter in our 20+ years of marriage (and likely in either of our lives) in which we did not have a church to attend. It’s been about a year since we’ve gone to church as a family. Honestly, the church that we attended after I stepped down from working in a congregation had a tall order to tend to our hurting family. It was a good group of people, but the services and community never really clicked with our boys. Then early last year, I got moved to a Sunday morning shift. EA tried for a bit to go by herself but it wasn’t what she needed. In the end, I was gone for about eight months before anyone in the church really noticed and we decided to take a break.

I acknowledge my uncertainty about the church is a bit over-dramatic. Of course, there are great churches out there. There are wonderful people in congregations where my family and I have experienced the most pain. It’s akin to writing off burritos for life because you got violent food poisoning from one (This is based on a true story; I have not written off burritos just that particular Chipotle location). But the church hurt is real. As is the MAGA-fication of the denomination in which I grew up that feels so antithetical to the teachings of Jesus. So we don’t have a place to call home and it’s weird and sad and understandable.

April 1, 2026

Lent Fail

Absurdist Note: I really want to add “Woo-ooh!” after the title. If you know, you know.

I have not pulled off this year’s Lenten disciplines the way that I set out to. When this 40 day period began, I set out to take on this fasts/spiritual practices:

Stop drinking Coca-Cola
Stop eating French fries
Stop playing Disney Solitaire on my phone
Do a daily devotional from Richard Rohr’s Wondrous Encounters
Write a blog five days a week

When the war in Iran began and threw another log on the fire that is the world, it pained me both spiritually and physically. One of the ways that played out was headaches and since headaches were already part of removing the caffeine of Coca-Cola from my life, I decided I probably shouldn’t compound a problem and began drinking Coke again. I have had French fries a few times; not many, mind you, but enough to break up the fast. There have been several multiple day stretches where I did not do my devotional. And my efforts to blog five times a week quickly fell by the wayside. I have managed to keep from playing Disney Solitaire, but that still puts my Lenten average in Mendoza Line territory.

March 29, 2026

An Awkward Parade (Revisited)

Several hundred, some may say several thousand, years worth of anticipation hung thick in the air. Like summer humidity that sticks to your shirt the second you step outside, you couldn’t avoid it if you wanted to. Especially not during Passover week.

There was a guy making his way into Jerusalem; a guy claiming to be the Messiah. This was nothing new. He would not be the first that people claimed would save us. There had been tons of guys going around saying that they were the One; saying that they were going to show Rome what’s what. So a would-be messiah making his way to Jerusalem was about as common as a singer-songwriter making their way to Nashville.

But this felt different. He seemed different. Now there was a fair amount of debate whether he was the right or wrong kind of different. For starters, word got out that he had tried to keep a lot of the messiah talk and even tales of his miracles under wraps. But it is difficult to keep those kind of stories quiet: dead men walking, the blind seeing, demons plunging a herd of pigs over a cliff, and thousands fed from a lunch meant for a single kid. You can tell people to keep that hush-hush all you want, but it’s not going to happen.