There was a stretch in Fall 2016 when I listened to the soundtrack for Hamilton constantly. I spent a lot of evenings going on runs because my wife and sons had not moved to Nashville yet. I found out that the first act of the musical roughly coincided with the time that it took me to run eight to ten miles (man, I miss the guy who could do that). Songs like “My Shot” and “Yorktown” gave me a shot of adrenaline to pick up the pace while the songs like “Helpless” and “Wait For It” let me settle into a more comfortable groove.
As such, I like the first act of Hamilton way more than the second. Granted some of that has to do with the fact that Act I is this ragtag group winning the Revolutionary War while Act II is Hamilton letting his ego and libido lead him to do dumb things and multiple characters being murdered because of antiquated ideas about honor. Plus there are not as many bangers in the back half (though “Room Where It Happened” and “What Did I Miss?” are fun; it’s a good musical!).
All of this is a long preamble to say that the most cringe moment, to borrow a phrase I generally don’t like from Gen Z, is at the end of “It’s Quiet Uptown.” The song finds Alexander Hamilton wandering the streets as his professional and personal life has come unraveled. Spoiler alerts from American history upcoming: a sex scandal has ruined his reputation and his son was killed in duel trying to defend Ham’s honor.
“It’s Quiet Uptown” finds Hamilton dealing with the fallout and is quite a pretty song. Except the end was always jarring to me. Hamilton’s spurned wife Eliza finally takes his hand, the music cuts out, and a chorus sings “Forgiveness, can you imagine? / Forgiveness, can you imagine?” And it was always really on the nose for me. Like a youth minister sitting backwards in a chair and telling the students the moral of the story (“Guys, not only did Jesus not throw away his shot, but he took the shot for you”).
But the truth is forgiveness is actually a really big deal. Like it is easier for us to forgive a loved one when they are having a bad day and maybe are a little short with us. We’ll cut slack for that. But when someone royally screws up or really hurts us? That kind of forgiveness is stupid difficult. Like there are still relationships out in the ether where it is hard for me to fully forgive.
Being the rule follower that I am, I have worried that if it is hard for me to forgive other people then what must God think about the ways that I have screwed up. The whole “God can’t stand to be in the presence of sin and couldn’t even look at you if not for the sacrifice of Jesus” stuff in evangelical Christianity does a number on people like me. The good news is God is not us and as I have grown up, I have come to believe that God’s grace is far greater than you or I could ever imagine.
Here is a Richard Rohr quote that I read in devotional this morning: “Forgiveness is not some churchy technique or formula. Forgiveness is constant from God’s side, which should become a calm, joyous certainty on our side. Mercy received will be mercy passed on, and [quoting Isaiah 55:11] ‘will not return to me empty, until it has succeeded in what it was sent to do.’”
Mercy received will be mercy passed on. That does not make that mercy easy. It does not mean that those who hurt us get a free pass to be back in your life as if nothing happened. But forgiveness is something that you and I have been given. It probably would be good to try and pass it on in a way that brings healing. It is at least something that I need to seriously wrestle with. My apologies to Lin-Manuel Miranda. Forgiveness is a big deal to stop everything to highlight. Can you imagine?