For a while you have been trying to master riding your bike. Considering that all you have to work with was a uneven alleyway behind our house, you had made pretty good progress. And then a couple of weeks ago while I was out of town, you decided that you were going to finally figure it out. And you did. Like in one afternoon. I left town holding on to your handrails and bike seat. And by the time you turned 11, you and I were riding nearly 4 miles together on the Greenway.

You have probably grown more in this past year than in any other since you were brand new. The growth hasn’t been so much in inches and pounds (though there has definitely been growth there), but in your capability in taking on the world around you. That growth has been staggeringly difficult at times this past year. Yet when I think back on where you were last March or at other points along this year, I am amazed at how far you’ve come. You’re not done of course, but none of us are.

One of the ways I have seen you mature in this past year is that you have grown into your big-heartedness. You have always had big feelings, but I have watched you hone those feelings into a desire to help the vulnerable. You want to take care of what is around you whether that is taking care of the earth on the Green Team at school or your humongous love for every animal you encounter or the concern for marginalized people when we talk about what you are learning.

One of the more difficult quests that I have faced as a father (and when I was a youth minister) is finding quality devotionals. There are questions of theology, age appropriateness, interest, etc. and it’s all kind of a crapshoot. It is one thing when you are trying to find that devotional for yourself. It is another thing entirely when you are trying to pass that devotional along to a young person about which you care and want to help foster some sort of spiritual practice.

Compounding problems is that there are so many devotionals that adhere to an incredibly narrow views of gender. Try to find a devotional for girls that is not in princess-like pastels or a devotional for boys that is not steeped in sports metaphors. It’s difficult. And the Christian publishing industry skews more towards the more-conservative-than-our-family-is side of things. This is not to say that there aren’t good devotionals out there, but with our oldest, it finally got to the point where I decided, “Fine…I’ll do it myself” (Foreshadowing…genre foreshadowing, not action foreshadowing).

So I am writing a devotional for Jim based on our shared love for nerd culture—comics, Star Wars, video games, Pixar, the MCU, etc.—and calling it Holy Nerdery. I know, this is a huge shock given virtually everything that I have ever written on this blog. While I am getting my ideas together, I thought that I’d write here a little about why my nerdery and Christian faith actually go hand in hand.

First, I am really glad that my son is living in a world where being a nerd is a bit more socially acceptable. This was not always the case. I was embarrassed about my comic book collecting when I was his age. I would admit to being a nerd in a self-deprecating way but it wasn’t until my college girlfriend (now wife) started wearing an “I ❤️ Nerds” shirt that I took the title as a badge of honor. Now it is a bit more mainstream. Heck, I went to see Dune this past week and the theater was packed. Dune! Glad things are different for the kids today.

A few weeks ago, EA told me that I should go on an adventure at the end of the month. She would be heading to QuiltCon in Raleigh for about five days which would leave me solo parenting for a bit. She knew that I would need some sort of break and distraction. First I checked to see if there was any space at the Abbey of Gethsemani where I had such a profound spiritual experience last year. When I found out that they were full, I decided to fly off in a wildly different direction. I wanted to see if I could go to Disney World with my brother and sister.

(“Monastery or Disney World” is probably a succinct encapsulation of where my interests lie)

So I texted both my siblings and asked if I could kidnap them for a couple of days at the end of the month for a Sibling Adventure. We’d meet down in Orlando, share a hotel room, spend a day hopping around several Disney parks, and then hurry back home to our respective families. It was a ridiculous idea and I was pretty doubtful that it could come together in such a short time. Both Taylor and Shari excitedly agreed and (more importantly) all our spouses signed off on the idea. This ludicrous scheme was going to happen.

EA teaches high school and therefore usually leaves our house before the sun is up. Since she has to be awake at such an ungodly hour, every morning she goes to Chick-fil-A to get a large Coca-Cola. The employee that regularly brings out EA’s Coke is a woman by the name of Monica. Over the last several years, EA and Monica have become pretty good friends one drive-thru at a time. EA has made Monica birthday presents and has said that Monica’s kindness has helped her on many a difficult day.

EA is heading out of town after school for a few days. She woke up the boys a little earlier this morning to tell them goodbye before she left. Then I got them moving to get ready for school. Our youngest started strong with his routine, but the though of not seeing his mom until the end of the week began to take its toll. It was a struggle to get Liam into the car and even then he was scared that he wouldn’t be able to go to school.

I had told the boys the night before that we would get Chick-fil-A breakfast as a treat since Mom was going out of town. In the drive-thru line, Liam looked like he was about to jump out of the car and run home. We pulled up to the window and who was there but Monica. She smiled warmly at Liam and reached through to him a five. A minute later, she came back out and brought a cookie for both Liam and his brother before going back inside.

It is likely out of necessity, but I believe in the God of the Long Game. This is a God who is antithetical to how immediate and automatic most life is today. It is not the God of the Bullet Points nor the God of the Five Steps to Become a Better Blahblahblah. This is a God who takes time. That taking of time can be frustrating because honestly there is a lot in our world both big and small that we would like to be better now. And for whatever reason, God really seems to want us to be a part of that process of creating a tomorrow that was slightly better than the day before.

Of course, if we are going to be part of this then we need a God who takes time because we take time. Jesus spent three years teaching and molding his disciples. He was with them seemingly every day, hours on end. And the disciples didn’t get it and they didn’t get it and then they would have moments of breakthrough and then they wouldn’t get it again. These people were at ground zero of God With Us for tens of thousands of hours and it took them more than a minute to grasp on to what their teacher was teaching. The Way of Christ had to seep into them. It took lots and lots of time but, by God, it eventually took.

So this is where I am going to stake out my hope: God is with us for the long haul. Becoming the people that God desires us to be will take time. There will be moments of two steps forward, one step back, leaps of faith, and falling on our faces. Yet God is with me. God is with us. God is not here to give us our Best Life Now™️ or snap Their fingers to make everything perfect. God is with me to help me grow organically into who God wants me to be.

I cuss very sparingly. Not for moral reasons though it did start out that way. A lot of it has to do with the fact that I have spent so much of my career working around young people. Of course, some young people love it when an authority figure cusses, but I want to be respectful that different families approach profanity in different ways. Plus it is fun to play with language and exclaim “biscuits” like Bandit or “horse hockey” like the 4077’s Colonel Potter. Ultimately, I greatly value language. If you are just carelessly using cuss words all the time, or any words for that matter, they start to lose their meaning.

All of which is a prelude to saying that 2023 was a s*** year for our family.

Not that it was all bad. I got to fulfill a lifelong desire and stayed at a monastery for a weekend and it was a profoundly meaningful experience. We finally got to take our boys to Disney World and we ended up starting a podcast to talk about those memories. Furman finally made the NCAA Tournament and dramatically upset a #4 seed in the first round. We got to go on an Amtrak adventure and visit Canada. EA had a quilt go viral on Instagram. I got to laugh around tables with family and some friends.