I was running the 5.8 Trail at Percy Warner Park because I didn’t know what to do. Honestly, it had been a crappy few days. Sunday had been my birthday. Now birthdays for adults are not filled with the same amount of excitement as birthdays are for kids. Still you want to have a good day. Mine started with a two-week old hot water heater spraying water into our laundry room to the tune of 3 inches of flooding. On top of that, our children—probably because of some combination of the flooding, being displaced for a night, and the end of the school year—had gone full Lord of the Flies on us.
This one-two punch combined with a few other things to send me into an existential tailspin. None of it was big, but it was enough to snowball into this response of “Oh no, I’m horrible at life! I’m not a good parent. Am I good at my job? Am I even passable for an adult?” None of which is a a good headspace to be in when you’re supposed to be coming up with a sermon for the next Sunday.