Each week, we look at one of the lectionary passages for the upcoming Sunday. This week, I am actually preaching at our church on the Old Testament passage of Isaiah 40:21-31, but I wanted to take a detour into the gospel passage, Mark 1:29-39, to do something a bit different. One phrase in particular jumped out at me and what came forth was more lyrical. I guess you would call it a poem, though it's probably an insult to poetry to call it that.
"Everyone is searching for you"
Did that ring in his ears?
Did Simon realize how loaded
That statement was?
How loaded it would be?
From the beginning,
Everyone searched for him:
Shepherds, a mad king,
Strangers from a foreign land
Looking for hope, a threat, a leader
As a child, it was his parents
Scouring the Holy City
Desperate to find their lost son
Wondering if they let their people's
Salvation slip through their fingers
And here he was now
The object of much searching
It would not stop
They would search until his dying day
And well beyond
Yet he always dodged the search
Egyptian detours
Temple lectures
Messianic secrets
Empty tombs
You almost wonder
If he was playing hard to get
Trying to let us know
That there was some great value
In all of this seeking
We're still searching
Scouring scripture
Checking through churches
Looking at the Least
Hoping we can find him
He's there for us
But he seems to like the chase
Perhaps because when we think
The search is over
Is when we truly lose him
I have a new office in our home and one of the things I am enjoying is decorating the space. I have placed books, Lego sets, and Funko Pops on the shelves. My wall has photos of family, places that I have traveled, artwork my siblings have given me, diplomas, etc. Across from my desk on the wall, hangs a cross that we got from a church in Reykjavik and a small colorfully-painted tile depicting Assisi. On the floor beneath them is the one item in here that I haven’t yet put up: my certificate of ordination.
I was ordained as a minister ten years ago today. It was a step with which I struggled for awhile. My Baptist roots fostered in me a firm belief in the priesthood of all believers. If you say that you are a follower of Jesus, then you are a minister. So the hierarchy implied by being called “Reverend” made me feel a little uncomfortable. I did not use the title for myself often unless I was writing my Congressperson. Despite these qualms, I did ultimately pursue ordination. I am glad that I did. I am just not totally sure what to make of it now.
I don’t serve as a vocational minister anymore; not in a church, not as a chaplain, not in some sort of parachurch organization. I am an Administrative Assistant in a hospital Spiritual Care department. In fact, I haven’t even attended a church service in maybe a year and a half save an Ash Wednesday service that I snuck off to at the beginning of Lent. I did officiate a wedding in a church over the summer; an experience that I loved and was very meaningful for me. But I don’t really know what to do about that ordination certificate. Or church.