My Brother's Keeper

Early in Genesis, Yahweh asks Cain where his brother Abel is. Cain, like a punk, replies, "I don't know. Am I my brother's keeper?" (P.S. He also killed Abel) God's response indicates that, yes, Cain is supposed to be his brother's keeper. But I wish the Almighty had been more explicit; that the story would have put it in all bold and all capital letters "YES! YOU ARE YOUR BROTHER'S KEEPER! AND YOUR SISTER'S TOO!" so that no one could ignore the reality that we are called to take care of one another.

I thought about Cain's flippant response when the news was announced that the president was pulling the country out of the Paris Climate Accord. The move was unfortunately not surprising as it fits his "America First" agenda and also considering his earlier statements that climate change is a hoax. Still, the move was infuriating.

Ebenezer (1 Samuel 7:3-12)

I was running the 5.8 Trail at Percy Warner Park because I didn’t know what to do. Honestly, it had been a crappy few days. Sunday had been my birthday. Now birthdays for adults are not filled with the same amount of excitement as birthdays are for kids. Still you want to have a good day. Mine started with a two-week old hot water heater spraying water into our laundry room to the tune of 3 inches of flooding. On top of that, our children—probably because of some combination of the flooding, being displaced for a night, and the end of the school year—had gone full Lord of the Flies on us.

This one-two punch combined with a few other things to send me into an existential tailspin. None of it was big, but it was enough to snowball into this response of “Oh no, I’m horrible at life! I’m not a good parent. Am I good at my job? Am I even passable for an adult?” None of which is a a good headspace to be in when you’re supposed to be coming up with a sermon for the next Sunday.

Twenty-Four Plus Ten

I don't listen to Switchfoot anymore.

That's not a knock on the alternative rock (is that still a genre?) band's music or lyricism. The band was incredibly important to me during my college years. Their songs ignited me like few things did during that time. But as I waded deeper into adulthood, the tether that tied my heart to their music snapped and I'm not exactly sure why. Time deepens some loves and erodes others.

So it was weird that Jon Foreman's voice was the first thing I heard in my head when I woke up on my thirty-fourth birthday:

I want to see miracles
To see the world change
I wrestled the angel
For more than a name

To Jim on his 7th Birthday

Jim,
We came to your school today to eat lunch with you and bring your class cupcakes. It is fun to see you in this new environment. We were worried how you would adjust to the move, but you prove to us again and again how resilient you are. Your teacher told us that you are a delight. And that's true. You are a delight.

You wear your heart on your sleeve. Your emotions are always at the forefront. Sometimes it goes a little overboard, but I hope that you never learn to shove your feelings down. I hope that I can always see joy on your face when you're happy. I hope that you will be brave enough to let people know when you are sad and upset. You have a beautiful heart and it ought to be worn on your sleeve.

Fragments

So I haven't written on here in some time. It is not for lack of interesting events. Easter was less than a month ago. A few weeks back, I got to watch our youth group lead our church in worship. We moved into our new house. EA and I went to Seattle this past weekend. We saw U2 in concert while we were there. All of these are events that would typically spark many blog posts. I always think that it's kind of pretentious when artists talk about their muse, so I won't venture down that avenue. I've just been creatively tired of late.

I'm hoping to claw out of this writing malaise this summer; partly because I need it to keep me sane. So I am going to write a few bits and pieces of the thoughts that have been bouncing around my mind these last few weeks. Not enough to be full on posts, but little fragments and incomplete thoughts.

If This is Back, Then I'm Sorry We Were Ever Here

I was getting Jim ready for school this morning while a morning news show was on in the background. A senator was talking about the first hundred days of the current presidential administration. He was spinning his tail off to say that it had been almost universally great. But, you know, that's what politicians do. Yet there was one thing that sent a chill up my spine:

"With the bombing of Syria, that proved America was back."

America has returned to prominence because we rained destruction on a country. That's taking Occam's razor to his statement. I am sure that this senator would say that is not what he really meant, but let's not kid ourselves. The idea that value lies in might is a common sentiment.

Head Full of Doubt/Road Full of Promise (Matt. 28:16-20 & John 20:24-29)

I remember wet socks. Whenever I think about my baptism, wet socks are the first thing that jumps to my mind. Socks completely submerged in water feel funny. But beyond the socks, I remember the white robe. I remember the darkness outside the sanctuary because it was an evening worship service and I was only used to seeing daylight through those windows. I remember my family sitting in the front pews and the pride on their face. I remember wading in the baptismal pool out to my dad; pride on his face. I remember being buried with Jesus in death and going under the water and hearing my dad say, “Raised up to walk in newness of life.” I was seven years old and I was as sure of God’s love as I was of those wet socks and the love of my family. I am not as certain now of that as I was when I was seven and yet here I am.

Baptism has been on my mind this week. The Matthew passage was selected as the text because upstairs today over two dozen fifth graders are being baptized. Baptism has also been on my mind because it seems like nearly every time I’ve gone outside the past few days, the weather has tried to drown me. So it’s the week after Easter and we remember baptism and new beginnings and Jesus giving his followers this Great Commission. It’s a celebratory day. So why did I undercut a cute-ish baptism story with an admittance of doubt? Well, I am following the lead of Matthew and the tradition of the church at large.

Stations

This was originally published in 14 parts over Holy Week last year. I am re-publishing in a single post this re-imagining of the Stations of the Cross along a modern subway line for Good Friday.

I was speeding on the subway
Through the Stations of the Cross
Every eye looking every other way
Counting down 'til the pain would stop
-"Moment of Surrender" by U2

Station 1
The train pulls into the subway station with a prolonged hiss. Businessmen, hipster couples, young families, and tourists rise up and make their way to exit the car. The doors slide open and people burst forth into collision. As one mass jostles to get out, another fights the tide to get in. Every eye is focused, steeled to push through to some goal past the throng...

Trying, Failing, and Trying Again

I sit here on Maundy Thursday and I think about Peter. I wonder if he had any clue that afternoon that his world would be turned upside down. He certainly didn't know that someone would be thinking about him on this day nearly two thousand years later; that his cowardice would be written down in a book and read by millions over the years. Was he excited about Passover? Did the foreboding words of Jesus predicting his death haunt him in the daylight?

I see him panicked in that courtyard. The walls closing in on him. No, he doesn't know Jesus. No, he has never met the man. For God's sake, he doesn't know the man! Then the rooster crows and the shame floods over him as he remembers the words. He remembers his words: his boasts and promises. He remembers the words of his teacher: three times he will deny their relationship. How could he not break down and cry?

1 Phineas Ferb:12

When you're a parent, you're exposed to a lot of cartoons. Most of them you tolerate. Some annoy the fool out of you. Some have a seemingly innocent premise that becomes sinister once you start thinking about it (I'm looking at you, Thomas the Tank Engine). And then there are a few that you enjoy just as much as your kids. That cartoon right now is Phineas and Ferb.

Phineas and Ferb is about two brothers who come up with wildly imaginative ideas to pass their summer vacation. They build rollercoasters, set out to become a one hit wonder, play a game of volleyball with jet packs, fix a time machine, and so on. All the while, their pet platypus Perry is a secret agent waging a never-ending skirmish with the evil Dr. Doofenschmirtz and their sister Candace tries to bust them for their outlandish adventures. It is full of optimism, imagination, and is whip-smart funny in a way that adults appreciate. It delights me so much, you guys.